omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
