Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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