I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
