That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
