? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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