Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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