I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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