i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
