We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This baby is an asshole
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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