you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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