He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
