i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
