I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
