My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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