How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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