Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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