well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
