I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
