oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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