i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
