there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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