Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
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Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
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You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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