Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
