How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize