Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
