is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize