Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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