I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
