My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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