they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize
