i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
