Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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