So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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