My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
