hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
