then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
