A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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