she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
