She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
