Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
you inspire me to be a worse person
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
