dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
