thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
