we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
