Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize