totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
