I got chris browned last night
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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