oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
