omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
