just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
