just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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