I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We need to get me chipped asap
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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