is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
