I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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