No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
