Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
