Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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