were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
