I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
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Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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