No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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